Why do we struggle finding true love?
The saying “Love happens when you least expect it” may have convinced you that if you quit seeking for the ideal person, he or she will show up. However, finding love may be tough since it’s something you have to actively seek out. The truth is, “If you don’t search for a quality relationship, you won’t find it.” “Most of the time, you get what you deserve or nothing at all.”
It’s possible to discover love by prioritising dating and being open to new connections, but if you’ve been out in town and still haven’t found the one, here are some possible reasons why you’re having trouble finding that special someone.
You’re Afraid to Commit!
Fear of commitment is the most prevalent cause of inability to find true love. Others are terrified by the ambiguity of their relationship’s status, which labels can exacerbate. To commit to someone implies that you run the risk of being wounded, therefore it’s conceivable that you’re trying to avoid making a commitment in the first place.
You’re Not Ready!
While the concept of falling in love seems romantic, a committed relationship takes significant time and work on both sides. If you find yourself wanting out every time things become serious, you’re probably one of those people who isn’t willing to put in the work. Whatever the case may be, you may favour non-monogamous relationships or just be looking to broaden your options. Whatever the case may be, you’re not ready to commit your heart to just one individual.
Difficulty beginning or following through with a talk related to future plans or dreams with your partner might mean that you’re afraid of getting married. It’s tough for people who don’t want to settle down or aren’t sure they want to make things permanent and this might be why you’ve never been able to find a long-term relationship.
You’re a little too particular.
Being discerning is not the same as being excessively fussy. People who are selective in their dating make decisions about their love lives based on what’s in their best interests, not on what someone else’s. There is a danger in being too choosy since it indicates that you are operating from a place of fear and are only willing to date someone who matches your ideal spouse. As a result of this, they rule out a large number of potential options. Try to avoid falling into this trap by being open to fresh ideas. Try being more purposeful about being open to connection. Smile more, look people in the eye, and be kind to those around you.
You’ve Already Been Hurt.
For whatever reason—a painful breakup, being burned by a crush, or anything else—you may be hesitant to put yourself out there again. Often, individuals are hesitant to connect with others because they are frightened of being abandoned. This fear prevents them from pursuing what they really want: a deep emotional connection. To be intimate requires making oneself vulnerable, which is something that many people find difficult to do. It’s simple, from the wondering, fantasising, thinking about ‘what ifs’ or ‘what should have beens’ with an ex, still being linked requires emotional energy — and that energy cannot go to a current relationship.
You’re preoccupied at the moment.
Maybe you’re the only single one in your group of pals. Maybe your family is putting pressure on you because they want to know when you’ll “meet someone.” You may be led to feel that love should take precedence above all other things, yet it may not so. It’s possible you’re not finding love since you’re not actively seeking for it right now because you’re preoccupied with your work, school, or a recent relocation.
You’re going after the wrong crowd.
Is it frustrating to go on a slew of dates that go nowhere? Bad luck on the dating front may be to blame, or perhaps it’s time to rethink your own “type.” Self-sabotage or attracting the wrong sort of person is common, and although it may serve as a form of self-protection, seeking individuals who don’t share your goals isn’t doing you any favours.
Recognize what it is and why it is you are so pulled to it so you can recognise it and not fall again. Self-work, self-awareness, and self-acceptance are the keys to changing your preferences in a romantic partner. Anyone or anything that does not respect or serve your requirements will turn you off when you regard yourself highly enough.”
You Do Not Value Yourself
While I disagree with the notion that loving oneself is a must for loving others, it is true that someone who does not recognise their own worth will have a difficult time finding a partner who appreciates them. If you find it difficult to love yourself, don’t assume you’ll never find a partner. Therapy and self-esteem building help lessen the fear of putting oneself out there.
Love may be difficult to find for a variety of reasons. But it’s still possible, Gianni from Desire for Love by Massimo Parlermo didn’t give up, you shouldn’t either!